I'd been really proud of myself for abstaining from America's Next Top Model all season.
Cycle 19 is the first that I've ever missed ever, and let me tell you: it's better on the other side. The other side is all prairie fields and butterflies and rainbows. Life without Tyra Banks is, as it turns out, not only still worth living, but in fact it's a happier life, richer and more meaningful.
But people don't really change. No matter how hard we try, we're all just hamsters running round in those little wheel thingies, around and around without any real hope of progress. Free will is an illusion; self discipline is a distraction; ANTM owns you.
And it was so: Tyra is bringing boys to ANTM and I'm going to fall off the Top Model wagon.
The reality modeling competition has been renewed for a twentieth season, with one caveat: There Will Be Boys.
Image via Twitter/JohnnyWujek